It’s February and “love is in the air.” While love comes in many forms, how it’s communicated is not universal for each individual. One person may show their affection through words, another person through actions. That’s what makes love such a beautiful and complex part of life! I bet you’re wondering what this has to do with fitness and weight loss, huh? Well, believe it or not, wellness and mindfulness are just as important in your journey! It’s so important, that we’ve included the topic of The Five Love Languages in our wellness education during our retreats.
Love languages is a concept authored by Dr. Chapman in his famous book, The Five Love Languages, and is a widely recognized theory for helping improve relationships around the world. He spent years counseling couples, taking notes, and identifying a pattern. He found that the couples attempted to show each other they care about each other, but it wasn’t interpreted the way it was intended. Couples were misunderstanding each other! Imagine that?!
Fun Fact: Did you know the book The Five Love Languages was originally published in 1992? That’s 30 years ago, and the book has consistently been on the NY Best Seller list over these 30 years!
Dr. Chapman’s book outlines his theory that humans express and receive love in five different ways – Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Giving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Understanding your own love language (how you interpret someone showing you their love) and understanding how others interpret when they receive love is a powerful tool. So, do you know what your love language is?
1. Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation are verbal clues for others to express how much they love and care about someone. Words of affirmation can also be compliments and reassurances that confirm inner love in an outer way. Your love language is words of affirmation if you find yourself constantly needing to hear from your loved ones to get reassurance from them. In order to feel loved, you need to hear out loud what the other person is thinking. It’s common for those who want words of affirmation to fish for compliments because this is how they feel most loved.
Verbal compliments that express love and appreciation.
Brag to others about your significant other, write love letters.
Speak words that build security and initiate a sincere apology.
2. Quality Time
Quality Time is about spending time together enjoying each other’s company. People who need quality time crave alone time with their loved ones and want to catch up with them by having time alone where they can talk and bond. You need alone time if you constantly desire to be with someone and not just hear from them or write to them. You do not feel satisfied or happy until you can be with the person or people you love.
Focused and undivided attention spent together.
Turn off electronics, go for a walk, plan date nights, start a hobby together.
Make eye contact, active listening with empathy, don’t interrupt.
3. Giving Gifts
Giving Gifts does not have to be large or extravagantly expensive gifts. It can be notes, CDs, flowers, or leaving a pastry. These small gifts are tokens of love to the giver or receiver. People who need gifts feel validated when you spend money and/or time picking something out for them. Often, the saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” really applies here. You need gifts if you think or wait anxiously for holidays or birthdays to see what your loved ones might get you. Gifts are usually a big test in relationships for people who speak the love language of gifts.
Tangible symbols that reflect your thoughtfulness and effort.
Make birthdays and anniversaries special, surprise them with their favorite treat.
Give a small token of your love and an apology note.
4. Acts of Service
Acts of Service are acts of love when someone performs an action for the other. These acts can be cleaning, cooking, driving, or even doing errands. By doing that act of service, the other person feels love or is showing their love. People who need acts of service sometimes will ask their loved ones for favors or errands not because it is easier, but rather because they need the affirmation of the other person’s love. You need acts of service if you feel unwanted or unimportant, if someone does not follow through on a promise, or if someone doesn’t do something you asked.
Any act that eases the burden of responsibility.
Wash the dishes, pamper your loved one, offer “let me do that for you.”
Make behavior changes requested through conflict.
5. Physical Touch
Physical Touch shows love through hugging, cuddling, being intimate, or simply putting a caring hand on someone’s shoulder. People who need physical touch want you to hug them; they want cuddle time and always show “PDA” or public displays of affection to feel that you love them. You need physical touch if you feel lonely and lost if you have not been physically near a loved one.
A non-sexual touch that reinforces your presence.
Long hugs, gentle caressing, kissing, massages, hand-holding.
Hold each other without saying a word, cuddle together in bed.
While many may relate to all of these love languages, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Couples often face challenges by expressing their love through their own love language instead of their significant other’s language.
You may wonder how going to a fitness retreat can be impacted by learning more about your love language. But we’re here to tell you that a fitness retreat at Rock Springs Retreat Center is far more than hours in the gym. It’s all-encompassing to nurture your mind, body, and soul through the adrenaline rush and simplicity of life here at the farm.
Through this nurturing process, our guests open themselves up to making changes for a more enriched life in ways far beyond the physical side. That’s why we offer life coaching concepts as part of our wellness education. Through these educational sessions, our guests are able to discover more about themselves and who they are. By learning about The Five Love Languages, our guests get more in touch with their own needs in regards to relationships, how they can better connect with others, and the changes they can make to have more fulfilling relationships in their lives.
Are you looking for ways to have a more enriched life? Come to a Fit Farm at Rock Springs and allow yourself to take care of yourself and continue to grow in ways you never expected! Contact a member of our team today and be sure to read our full article on Small Changes, Big Results, to see how combining the knowledge of these five love languages can prove to be a powerful tool for change!